Bollywood superstar detained again, at Newark Airport traffic light for over 3 minutes.
The infamous Newark traffic light where SRK was detained
New York/Mumbai : In an unbelievable act of insensitivity to Bollywood, the reigning superstar, was detained at a traffic light outside the Newark airport for more than 3 minutes. What was even more baffling was that despite repeated telephone calls to the NY Traffic control HQ, there was no move to release the superstar. Unconfirmed reports suggest that SRK had to endure the painful sight of average Americans crossing the road & eating burgers while he was forced to stay immobile.
The spokesperson for the External Affairs Ministry, Mr Goel said in New Delhi that the issue was being raised at the highest levels. “I cant imagine India treating any of its guests this way. I know that last year when Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie had come to Pune, we had switched off all city traffic lights across Maharashtra & cleared the Mumbai-Pune express way of all traffic for a month”, he added. “In fact, we have kept the traffic lights off ever since in Pune city, just in case Brangelina decides to drop in at short notice”, exclaimed Mr Goel.
The US Ambassador said that there were certain software glitches that could have contributed to this “unfortunate development”. However Utopia has learned from reliable sources that the Obama administration was not particularly pleased with the comment SRK had made about “frisking Angeline Jolie next time she is in India”. US foreign policy expert Dr Raina said “It is a well known fact that President Obama is a great fan of Ms Jolie”.
“Last year when Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie had come to Pune, we had switched off all city traffic lights across Maharashtra & cleared the Mumbai-Pune express way of all traffic for a month”
Friends of the actor reacted strongly to the detention & said that traffic lights in the US seemed to act “funny”, especially when there were South Asians driving. “Once the lights turned red directly from green, even without the yellow warning light. I guess it happens to superstars like us”, said Chunkey Pandey.
Protests have erupted across India as fans of the superstar tried to come to terms with this unfortunate development. Over 2400 traffic lights across India were destroyed as sporadic violence broke out. Spokesperson for the CPI(M), at a press conference in Calcutta, said that India should get used to such acts of shame, now that we have sacrified our nuclear freedom at the altars of the bourgeoisie. “We dont know the gentlemen who was detained, as we dont watch any thing remotely popular. But the traffic light incident clearly shows the basic capitalist desire to control the common man”, said Comrade Prakash.
However, SRK played down the incident saying that such mundane experiences help him prepare for upcoming ‘realistic roles’ in movies.
Along Similar Lines:
- Traffic cops to be equipped with Credit Card machines
- Bollywood Villains introspect after the fall of Mighty Ghajini
- Backseat driver fined for drunk driving
(5 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Too Good!Loved the Super star chunky pandey comment
Yes, only superstars understand each other.
‘we don’t watch anything remotely popular’…LOL LOL LOL
Yes, AG – the truth is sometimes bizzare.
Thank you for pointing out that the Pune traffic lights have been kept off as a mark of respect for Brangelina, ever since their visit. Utopia owes it to readers like you to keep the spirit of truth alive.
Brilliant!!
dude – this is smashing! liked the comrade and jolie angle
Thank you. Keep visiting & spread the voice of truth.
Dude this is a cool article, loved it, keep them coming will ya?
Thank you G ! Keep reading n spread the word !
hahaha….awesome work… checked out this site for the first time this morning and love it
Thank u Abhinav, keep reading & spread the word of truth.
how did u get to know the inside workings of the mumbai traffic police???
absolutely fantastic this one is…smashing read…
Thank u Vedant. As for the insider info on Mumbai police, lets just say that as investigative journalists, we know our job !
Ha ha ha! Almost wet myself reading this. Your site is awesome. Maybe if the “friendly guys” in IT visited, they’d understand why for some of us, your site is a daily neccesity.
Hi youn fnd this
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