Toddy shop that destroyed Indian Culture

Coastal India : Indian culture, which was built up over the last few centuries was sadly destroyed late yesterday night at a local Toddy Shop near Mangalore. This shocking incident was brought to light by a bunch of politically enlightened young men, who were out for a night of harmless fun. Apparently, the toddy shop has been serving alcohol, an intoxicant made out of industrial molasses, coconut water & sugarcane, to women of all ages & unbelievably a few men as well, for the last 34 years.

Indian culture, which has survived catastrophic attacks like the Mongol invasion, East India Company, The partition, The Politicians & more recently MTV Roadies, Orkut & Drona, clearly could not withstand this systematic assault on its values & principles. One of the cornerstones of Indian culture has been the traditional custom of the male of the family avoiding alcohol & other intoxicants to ensure that his family leads a contented life. It is this tenet that the local Toddy Shop No 41 so blatantly violated.

Understandably, the incident has led to public uproar & large sections of society have reported a sudden drop in self esteem & a rising feeling of being ‘uncultured’. Prominent historian, Dr Kashyap said “An incident of this scale is unprecedented in the world. After all, one would think that a culture that was centuries old would be more resilient. But it just shows the brittle nature of the world we live in”. Rajagopal Rao, an old timer who clearly remembers what it was like to live in a cultured India, said “Those were the good old days”.

“I only wish that I could do more for India and I promise that I will beat up anyone who tries to destroy my culture”

Keerthi, one of the local lads who brought to light this wanton act & also managed to beat up one of the criminals running the Toddy Shop, said that his heart bleeds for his country. “I only wish that I could do more for India and I promise that I will beat up anyone who tries to destroy my culture”, he said in an aggressive tone. When our reporter pointed out that Indian culture was already destroyed, he responded with a loud grunt.

Rameshan Kutty, propreitor of the toddy shop, who has gone into hiding, said in a telephonic interview that he had no intention of destroying Indian culture. “If I knew that I was playing with Indian culture, I would have shut down a long time ago instead of aggressive marketing campaigns like karaoke night, happy hours etc”, he added.

Local law enforcement official, Sub Inspector Rathore pointed out to Utopia that since the toddy shop has been operational for a long time, it was difficult to ascertain when exactly Indian Culture was destroyed. “It also indicates a scary possibility that we may have been living without any culture to speak about for over quarter of a century”, he said.

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