Obama, US president elect during historic address

Washington DC : In a historic speech which prompted historians to draw parallels with Martin Luther King’s “I have a dream” speech, US President Elect, Barack Obama exhorted Americans to plant more money trees wherever they can. “Tonight, we are at the threshold of a great change here in the United States of America. The Great American dream & our way of life is under threat”, he started in his now familiar rockstar-preacher oratorial style.

“As you would know the US government has been handing out hundreds of billions of dollars every week to poorly run financial institutions, so that they can continue to fleece the average Joe. The money for these bail out packages have come by shaking all the money trees that we have in the West Coast. But soon, we are going to run out of money, as the trees cant grow back fast enough. AS soon as a sapling grows a 10 dollar note, the huge Multi National companies that are standing guard around rush to pluck it out”, he continued to say.

There was mad panic at Wall Street with traders & analysts scrambling to hold on to every dollar that they had, while they continued to buy “exotic debt instruments” with millions of dollars of customer savings.

“Planting money trees, is something that was undertaken only by the Federal Government till now. But the rate at which some of the stalwarts of American Industry is sucking in money, we cannot cope up with demand & we need your help to preserve the American way of life”, Obama added. “If every household plants one money tree & ensures that it grows well, our dependency on the Central Bank will come down. It will also address the so called “Inconvenient Truth” that Senator Al Gore has been talking about for many years. At this juncture, we need to send a strong message to the world – Yes, we can”.

It will also address the so called “Inconvenient Truth” that Senator Al Gore has been talking about for many years

Political observers praised Obama for an insightful, strong yet simple suggestion which is guaranteed to work. “Now that you think about it, I wonder why no one ever thought this up”, said Gregor Kowalski, a lowly wallstreet analyst.

Unconfirmed rumours also say that atleast some US households are considering outsourcing the money plant growing process to other countries such as India & Phillipines.  Small scale industries run out garages in India are already reported to have the necessary sophistication to plant & harvest US money trees.

In a seemingly unrelated development, top executives of huge US institutions like Citibank, Coke, Nike, Reebok & Microsoft announced thousands of job cuts,  hundreds of pay cuyts and million dollar bonuses for themselves. An anonymous source said that “There was some talk about a rich Uncle, Sam who had made good his word & delivered.”

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