Endurance training to watch 'Karz'

 Mumbai : In yet another instance of its unrelenting pursuit of truth, Utopia has sent its chief reporter Anonymous, on a two week long intensive endurance training course in Germany. This training is expected to prepare him metally & emotionally so that he can sit through the entire screening of the upcoming movie “Karz - Vengeance is back”.

“In our line of work, we are expected to face life threatening situations & write objectively about them. So while readers around the world can sit in the luxury of their homes & get to know about Karz, we will have to watch each scene, listen to each dialogue, ignore the lush, radiant hair job and hum each song, then comment in a neutral manner, all in the glorious tradition of journalism”, said Mr Anonymous before leaving for Germany. Throughout the flight, he will listen to the tracks from the movie repeatedly till his mind stops reacting violently to the lyrics. A team of physicians are accompanying him througout on this trip.

“The human mind is a wonderful thing, it can withstand almost anything with the right training”, said Dr Staedler the course instructor.

The training will consist of sitting through the screening of painful movies & propaganda films from the past, mountain climbing & running. Deep breathing & other zen meditation techniques, aimed at slowing down the heart beat & increasing overall resistance of the body to mindless entertainment are also an integral part of this course. “The human mind is a wonderful thing, it can withstand almost anything with the right training”, said Dr Staedler the course instructor.

Anonymous is no stranger to dangerous bollywood movies, as he is reported to have sat through ‘Ugli aur Pagli’, with his mental facilities intact. But a few years back, he suffered a minor breakdown & had to be rescued by paramedics during the intermission of ‘Janasheen’ starring the erstwhile superstar Fardeen Khan. Many believe that the tag line of the movie, ‘Monty is back, with a vengeance’ is seen as a subtle threat to Anonymous who had trashed the magnum opus “Aap ka suroor” and given it only a half star rating.

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