Woman, after transformational course

Mumbai: In one of the rare instances of life tranforming sessions proving beneficial, a young lady from Mumbai reported that her life had indeed transformed, before returning to her routine life. “Initially, I was quite sceptical. Having seen through at least 3 previous attempts to life transformation, I was quite clear that it would take something really special to transform me”, said Priya (name changed).

The program, which promised a positive, permanent shift in the quality of life has apparently worked wonders. “I am able to look at life in a much clearer, un-biased manner. My computer monitors appear far more brighter, cleaner & clearer now. Google is generating far more accurate answers to my questions and everyday at least 3 banks are offering me free credit cards & personal loans with low interest rates. I have already got a confidential offer from a Nigerian Billionaire, which might make me very rich.I no longer find it difficult to choose between Capuccino & Latte, as I understand now that it is not the coffee but the choice that matters”, said a clearly elated & positive Priya.

Utopia has learnt that the “Can-i-make-franship-with-you” requests in her facebook profile have gone up by 70%, in perhaps the clearest indication that the world at large also has recognised this new, improved & positive version of Priya. At work, her boss also seems at a loss for words to describe her new found productivity as we are still waiting for a response from him.

An indepth investigation by Utopia has revealed that every single person who has gone through the course has come out feeling extraordinary. Some of the  notable participants in the past have been – Mamta B who claimed that “The course finally gave me the inner strength to go out publicly against the capitalist pigs”, George Bush who overcame his fears of conflict & physical violence, stood up for what he was told was true, and bravely asked his troops to invade Iraq and Navjot Singh Sidhu who claimed that before he attended the course, he appeared on national television like a drunk blind man trying to drive backwards.

Utopia is planning to send our finest reporter undercover to understand more about the inner self.

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