Investment banking groom valuations fall in Wedding market
Hyderabad : The subprime crisis in the US has made its effects felt in India as well, this time in the highly lucrative weddings futures market in Andhra Pradesh. “An IIM passout at a US investment bank like Lehman Brothers was as good as it got, a few weeks back. But now parents of brides want to stay as far as possible from such profiles”, said Dr Rajan, an expert with over 20 years of experience in the matrimonial industry.
The first visible effects were noted in the online space yesterday with scores of investment banking profiles being “blocked” by women across matrimonial & social networking sites. Apparently the average “Be my friend” request index from 20 - 26 years old women to investment bankers have dropped from 24 to 2 in a period of three weeks. “As Indians, we have always been trained to think longterm”, said an unrepentant Sophia after deleting 6 investment bankers from her Friends list.
Mrs Narayani, head of the Old Wives & Aunts Network, the most powerful lobby working in this industry said that the offline impact will also be felt sooner than later. “As of today, we are downgrading Financial services, Investment banking & Outsourcing from ‘Marriage Material (MM)’ to ‘Ignore Politely (IP)’. But we stand committed to all deals that have been mutually agreed upon before Sep 15th, provided the groom can present evidence of fresh employment & adequate capital reserves”, she said.
Raj Malhotra, a Lehman Brothers investment banker who was holding out, hoping for a better valuation said “Maybe I should not have waited so long & should have accepted the buyout offer from the Mysore based girl”. Utopia has also learnt that a number of investment bankers have lowered their next quarter projections and are now ready to marry any girl who will let them.
It is also reported that the worst fears of any banker – the girl insisting on a sense of humour – might also come true as the market prepares itself for a long winter.
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(4 votes, average: 4.25 out of 5)
ha ha ha ha ha … wonder which profiles are benefitting then? humour writers? ha ha ha
Unfortunately, at Utopia we dont know any “humour” writers. All our reporters are dead serious. So we cant comment on this. Please do let us know if you know any.
I just heard shocking news of an Investment Banker cracking a joke that was actually funny.
There is clearly turmoil in the market and we are sure to see things we have never seen happen before. Hope to see Utopia covering the stories as they unfold.
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Utopia is a new portal for hardhitting and absolutely dead serious news.
At the end of the day, if you want to relax, have a good laugh & have a good time then you better be married to someone pretty, with a sense of humour. But if it is unbiased reporting with an edge that you are looking for, then Utopia is the place to come to.
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